Ugh

Maybe someday, after another couple decades of sports futility, Time Life or ESPN or some other media company will come out with a 10-disc DVD package of 'Great Philadelphia Sports Disasters.' Or maybe it'll be on hyperdrives or terabit flashcards or something weird by then.

But I'm convinced, now more than ever, that there will never be a happy ending for a Philadelphia team as long as I'm alive. The Phillies mounted a stirring run to the postseason, overtaking the hated Mets, only to collapse in a horrendous 3 game sweep at the hands of the Colorado Rockies (with a storied tradition dating back to 1993!). The lesson, as always, is that Philadelphia can't win. I'll still keep rooting for the Phillies, the Eagles, the Flyers, and the Sixers (not to mention Penn State), but I feel like I'll always be left disappointed like some 35 year-old single woman in a romantic comedy before John Cusack shows up.

I was born in 1981. Now, you may say, 'but wait, the Sixers won a championship in 1983, so isn't this whole thing a bunch of BS?'

You could say that, but that would make you a jackass. I wasn't a sports fan when I was 1.5 years old. I date my sports consciousness back to 1987, my first sports memory, watching the Flyers lose in the Stanley Cup finals to some loser named Gretzky.

So 1987, that's the beginning...in that time, there have been...

20 Flyers seasons
20 Phillies seasons
20 Sixers seasons
20 Eagles seasons
and if you want to throw in Penn State football (which I didn't begin to support wholeheartedly until I started there in 1999), eight Nittany Lions seasons.

88 sports seasons

ZERO championships!!!

Am I some kind of sports-world Job?

I'm not sure, my bible knowledge is kind of spotty...but I definitely think I'm cursed if nothing else.