Thursday, June 11, 2009

What to do this Summer?

Graduation is this weekend, and while I'm really really not excited about rejoining the real world, I am excited for my family to finally make their way out to Chicago.

The parents and two of the brothers should have a good time, eat some deep dish, catch a game at Wrigley, and hopefully not get rained on down in Hyde Park come Sunday.

But other than that, I don't have a ton going on right now and probably won't until September when I start my new full-time career as a management consultant (or if you prefer, PowerPoint jockey, or as I prefer, strategy god)

That got me thinking, how the hell will I spend my summer???

I've got all kinds of time, and thanks to a certain game show, still have some kind of money...with that as the premise, let's see what a Vegas bookmaker would make of my summer...


Find a Great New Apartment
Theory: Well, I'm starting a new job in New York, and that only becomes possible when I have a place to leave (no really, it's actually stipulated in my offer letter that I have a place to live within X miles of my home office). I've started my search, and can't imagine what people did before the Internet, I'm guessing it had something to do with talking to real live people. Anyway, I'm flying there next week and have set up several appointments to look at places in a city that's actually MORE expensive than Chicago.
Pros: Well, it's kind of mandatory unless I want to live at the airport terminal (considering my career choice, maybe that's not a bad idea)
Cons: Hmm...I don't like spending money...that's a con
Odds: 1,000 to 1 (Note: that's the odds of finding an AMAZING apartment...the odds of finding an apartment I'm just settling for is actually 1 to 1,000,000)

Take a Crazy Vacation
Theory: The hallmark of any business school summer, blowing lots of dough to go someplace exotic before you end up with three kids and can never have fun again. Run with the bulls, train for muay thai fighting, climb a glacier or something
Pros: Certainly a unique opportunity, plus I'm not working so I wouldn't have to bring a razor. Macroeconomic collapse has left the tourism industry desperate for money (hello Iceland!). There might also be willing and able companions
Cons: Would require some diligence and money, foreign language skills are also generally recommended. Also , kidney theft.
Odds: 25 to 1 (Although it should be noted that my awesome girlfriend has swung us some sick deals to take a trip to San Fran and Sonoma in August, so really that should count)

Get Back Into Online Poker
Theory: I used to play a lot of poker online, you know, back when it was really cool to sit at your computer for hours in a sitting. I could very very easily reinstall some software and light it up again. Suggested handle: PkrStud69
Pros: Simple to set up, requiring minimal upfront investment. Good way to keep quick math skills fresh (in the event my new employer isn't sure I'm qualified and hits me with a surprise final final round interview). Then there's the profit
Cons: Well, there certainly is a reason why I stopped. I think the whole 'negativity dominance' principle in psychology explains why I took bad losses much worse than I took nice wins...that and a number of furniture punching incidents
Odds: 50 to 1

Learn a New Language
Theory: Look people, this whole U.S. economy is going down for the count. It's only a matter of time before we're loading up the ships to head off for greener economic pastures (Hello again Iceland!). So, with that, another language is probably a worthwhile investment. Plus this Rosetta Stone thing Michael Phelps keeps talking about sounds REALLY easy. I think they show you pictures or something.
Pros: Increases my own personal globalness, also allows me to travel somewhere that speaks whatever language I learn (unless its Latin...unless they speak that in Latvia)
Cons: I just spent two years in class, is that how I should spend my summer? Plus I would have to actually CHOOSE a language to study, which would essentially require picking a culture over others, and the part of me that's NY Times-liberal is not quite sure that's not racist.
Odds: 30 to 1

Hire a Personal Trainer and try to get Jacked
Theory: With nothing to do during the day, it may be a great time to spend it all working out. Combine that with a shady online pharmacy based in Mexico, and we might have the world's first 5'8" 296 pound consultant HULK
Pros: Imagine THAT in a client meeting...

Client: I don't really agree with your recommendations

Me: BWA! CONSULTANT HULK SMASH!!!

:::SMASHES CONFERENCE TABLE:::


Cons: That'll take a lot of money, and having spent a couple years in New Jersey gyms, I know it's not quite all it's cracked up to be.

Odds: 250 to 1


Write a Complete Novel
Theory: If I don't do it now, I probably never will. That is of course, assuming my business career pans out...if it doesn't I'll have all kinds of time. But let's say it does, should I really deprive the world of my amazing literary voice (let's face it, the world NEEDS a "pair of odd couple robots hilariously solving crimes novel," or a novelization of Death Wish 3)
Pros: Fame and glory, and possibly riches
Cons: Might require me to become self-important, grow a beard, and start hanging out in hipstery type places drinking something I've never even heard of yet.
Odds: 75 to 1

Get Married
Odds: A bazillion to 1!
Ha...figured I'd throw that in to make sure my girlfriend DOES in fact read this

No comments: