Wednesday, December 31, 2008

A Hanukkah Miracle

The true measure of any holiday is not the time spent with family and loved ones, it's not the sharing of rich cultural tradition, and it's not the dispersal of happiness and good cheer towards all living things.

It's the sheer quantity of awesomeness that lies within the gifts we receive.

And on that basis, I had a pretty sweet holiday season so far.

I got Flight of the Conchords on DVD, which was a big win. I also got Mad Men, which I've never seen but have only heard good things about. I also got a bunch of books I've always wanted but never got around to buying for myself (and with four classes about to start, might not have much time to read them).

Oh yeah, and my brother got me a nice tie.

I wasn't sure what to think about that at first, but then I slowly realized that I'm at the age where ties start to make sense as a gift. So for future reference, the tie-gift virginity has been broken and established as acceptable. My future kids thank you for making future Father's Days much much easier.

Anyway, the title of this post was, 'a hanukkah miracle,' and right now you might be wondering where it is.

I found it out at the King of Prussia mall this past weekend...

Walking through the mall, my American cultural heritage welled up inside me, gently tugging at my wallet and begging me to buy, to purchase, to CONSUME. I must admit that for the first hour or so, I ignored the little impulses and chose to abstain from buying crap I didn't really need. Of course, that was until I saw what for many may be taken as a sign of economic hardship but to my eyes, a thing of beauty.

A movie and music store...going out of business.

Alright, so that got me a little excited, but I wasn't just going to fork over some disposable income that I'm not currently earning unless there was something special.

I started perusing the DVDs, looking for a hidden gem or two.

I passed on a direct-to-DVD Steven Segal flick that looked like he was in Japan. $10??? Not at that price.

I almost gave in to a Stallone 4-pack calling out to me from the shelf. "I'm only ten dollars" it cried. "Think of all the good times we could have!!! I've got 'Over the Top' AND 'Tango and Cash!!!"

But Sly couldn't get me to budge.

Even the new director's cut edition of Arnold's Commando couldn't convince me, and that's one of my all-time favorites.

The prices just weren't right (and I couldn't really look at myself in the mirror again if I paid over $10 for a third copy of Commando)

But then, when all hope seemed lost, I found my way past the abnormally large section of soft-core pornography, and stumbled onto a miracle.

1984's Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo!

For those of you who haven't seen it, it's a powerful tour de force pitting a team of rag-tag breakdancers against the evil greed of a rich real estate developer.

Their weapon??? Breakdancing!

I'll try not to oversell it, but it got robbed of Best Picture to Amadeus, although some still maintain the balloting was rigged.

Anyway, that movie, together with a copy of Action Jackson (starring Carl Weathers!), cost me eight bucks!

Miracles really do happen every day.

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