I've moved back to Chicago, to a new apartment, and have completely realigned my telecom portfolio.
That is to say, I've gone back to the cable companies, and am once again a TV service subscriber.
I was content to live in my apartment, relying on a fast internet connection, a netflix subscription, and a Roku streaming box. I had more than enough content.
Then I moved in with my fiancee, and discovered that if I recommended an option that left her without easy access to Say Yes to the Dress and several cities worth of Real Housewives, I would soon find myself fitted with a new pair cement shoes at the bottom of Lake Michigan.
OK, so cable it is. Welcome back into my life, Comcast. I'm assuming you've changed and are now easy to deal with, right?
What's more, we no longer subscribe to internet service.
Yes, you read that right. Me, exhibit A for any prosecution of Internet addiction, an internet subscriber no more.
What changed...did I find Jesus? (or, if not Jesus, an anti-technology version of Jesus, a Unabomber Jesus I guess)
Of course not, don't be ridiculous. We have free Wi-Fi in the building.
But the Wi-Fi has left me in something of a conundrum.
The service is adequate for basic internet. Web surfing and some light video (short clips on YouTube), that stuff's ok, but forget about anything consistent. Let's just say, if your life depended on your internet connection (think Obama receiving national security information, or me conducting my fantasy football draft), you definitely can't rely on it.
So what's an internet addict to do? Do I subscribe to a plan? Add to my already significant Comcast bill?
It's not an easy decision, in part because I love using my Roku box, and not having an internet connection turns it into a pretty lousy accessory.
The Roku allows me to stream Netflix, watch MLB.tv, YouTube, and a whole bunch of other hyper-specific and relatively useless channels.
Clearly, a more thorough analysis is required.
Reasons I would like Internet:
- Netflix streaming: For $9/month, I have access to an increasingly large library of on-demand content. Some people complain that it doesn't have the most recent movies. This is true. However, it's got tons of movies that I actually want to see and TV shows I'll always watch (e.g., Arrested Development, South Park)
- MLB.tv: For $100+, I can watch the Phillies on my big screen. Of course, Comcast has the Extra Innings package, which I think is more expensive, but quite similar. Plus, my 2010 season pass is already paid for. A sunk cost if ever there was one.
- Future Channel expansion on Roku: This is one of the more tantalizing areas. Roku continues to add channels, both officially and unofficially. Of course, they never comment on what's coming. What would be great is an NFL channel, or an NHL channel. But since this is the real world, the NFL doesn't seem willing to give up on the stupid DirecTV Sunday Ticket monopoly, and the NHL might still be too stupid to do something that would allow MORE people to watch their sport. So really, there might not be a lot here.
- Worry-free internet connections: A dedicated line would reduce frustration of disconnection/slow connections over this freaking building's Wi-Fi. That's definitely worth something, particularly if it prevents me from throwing my laptop against a wall.
But really, is that list so compelling? For an extra $40+ a month? Heck, even for $20/month?
Sadly, I don't think so. My rational MBA brain is screaming, 'That's a terrible investment! In no way is it NPV positive! (assuming the value I derive from the service as equivalent to cash inflows)
I may also put a hold on Netflix, because one DVD at a time isn't fantastic, and I can't get the streaming that I enjoy, so why waste $100+/year?
So it looks like the decision is solid. I've re-attached my cable TV cord (but still disconnected the cable internet cord...so technically, I'm still a cord cutter!)
Monday, August 23, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
An Unfortunate Lesson in Option Value
I'm a consultant, and as a consultant, I'm also a major points-hoarder.
Doesn't matter what or where, if it's got a program that'll get me anything of value, I'm in.
Airlines, Hotels, Rental Cars...
I would register for a Red Lobster rewards program if its platinum level came with extra portions during Shrimpfest.
But my true points hoarding heart belongs to hotel programs. Starwood and Hyatt are my two chains of choice, and I constantly go back and forth like a mixed up tween choosing between Team Edward and Team Jacob (note: I know this is from Twilight, but I'm still not clear on who these people are, or why I should pay attention to vampires. I feel like it's an apt analogy nonetheless)
I'm fairly in the Starwood camp at this point, because that's what a lot of more senior consultants have told me, and the SPG Amex is a pretty good card if you don't care about the nominal annual fee.
Anyway, this is to set up the fact that I track their promotions fairly closely. Recently, Starwood offered a new one. With five stays at their hotels, you could have any one of three reward options.
Option 1 - 4,000 SPG points
Option 2 - Something like a restaurant gift certificate, I don't recall, it was a bad option
Option 3 - 25% off a points redemption at a Starwood property.
The choices were offered to you at the SPG promotion registry website, and you had a few weeks or so to make your choice. You could only choose one option, and once you made it, it was irreversible.
Now, I could have waited a while before making an award selection. I had the option to sit back until the end of the registration period, then at that time, make a choice to maximize my future reward. It was available at no additional cost, except that I would need to remember to physically register for something.
I sat there and debated in my head.
Am I really going to be in a position where I need to use points and will need the reward? I can't think of anything. Of course, I could wait, but then I might forget. The 4,000 SPG points is pretty tempting, I can always use more points and they never expire. The redemption coupon has an expiration. I kind of just want to make a decision and stop thinking about it.
So I did stop thinking about it. I picked the 4,000 points. Option to decide in the future forfeited.
Flash forward 6 weeks or so.
I'm sitting with my fiancee in our new apartment, and we're thinking about our honeymoon destination. We've settled on Hawaii, and I start to look into hotels that I can book using points.
I book one five night block at a really nice looking St. Regis in Kauai. That's a pretty hefty number of points, but it's a really nice hotel (or so I've been led to believe). Then I look to book some nights in Maui, and it hits me.
The Westin in Maui costs 12,000 points per night. You get a fifth night free with a booking, so for five nights it would come to 48,000 points.
Oh crap, I realize, that redemption coupon I passed up.
The coupon would've gotten me 25% off in points, turning it from a 48k requirement to a 36k requirement. It would've been worth 12,000 points.
Of course, I had just cashed it in for 4,000 points straight up.
Doh.
I tried to get it changed, but given my hotel-switching prowess, I had already racked up the necessary 5 stays and had already been credited with the bonus points. Even if I hadn't, the promotion specifically didn't allow any changes after a selection (because you would obviously change it to a coupon if you realized you could use it and it would be financially beneficial)
Sigh. Looks like I'll have to keep throwing the Starwood Amex around. My kingdom for another 48k SPG points.
Doesn't matter what or where, if it's got a program that'll get me anything of value, I'm in.
Airlines, Hotels, Rental Cars...
I would register for a Red Lobster rewards program if its platinum level came with extra portions during Shrimpfest.
But my true points hoarding heart belongs to hotel programs. Starwood and Hyatt are my two chains of choice, and I constantly go back and forth like a mixed up tween choosing between Team Edward and Team Jacob (note: I know this is from Twilight, but I'm still not clear on who these people are, or why I should pay attention to vampires. I feel like it's an apt analogy nonetheless)
I'm fairly in the Starwood camp at this point, because that's what a lot of more senior consultants have told me, and the SPG Amex is a pretty good card if you don't care about the nominal annual fee.
Anyway, this is to set up the fact that I track their promotions fairly closely. Recently, Starwood offered a new one. With five stays at their hotels, you could have any one of three reward options.
Option 1 - 4,000 SPG points
Option 2 - Something like a restaurant gift certificate, I don't recall, it was a bad option
Option 3 - 25% off a points redemption at a Starwood property.
The choices were offered to you at the SPG promotion registry website, and you had a few weeks or so to make your choice. You could only choose one option, and once you made it, it was irreversible.
Now, I could have waited a while before making an award selection. I had the option to sit back until the end of the registration period, then at that time, make a choice to maximize my future reward. It was available at no additional cost, except that I would need to remember to physically register for something.
I sat there and debated in my head.
Am I really going to be in a position where I need to use points and will need the reward? I can't think of anything. Of course, I could wait, but then I might forget. The 4,000 SPG points is pretty tempting, I can always use more points and they never expire. The redemption coupon has an expiration. I kind of just want to make a decision and stop thinking about it.
So I did stop thinking about it. I picked the 4,000 points. Option to decide in the future forfeited.
Flash forward 6 weeks or so.
I'm sitting with my fiancee in our new apartment, and we're thinking about our honeymoon destination. We've settled on Hawaii, and I start to look into hotels that I can book using points.
I book one five night block at a really nice looking St. Regis in Kauai. That's a pretty hefty number of points, but it's a really nice hotel (or so I've been led to believe). Then I look to book some nights in Maui, and it hits me.
The Westin in Maui costs 12,000 points per night. You get a fifth night free with a booking, so for five nights it would come to 48,000 points.
Oh crap, I realize, that redemption coupon I passed up.
The coupon would've gotten me 25% off in points, turning it from a 48k requirement to a 36k requirement. It would've been worth 12,000 points.
Of course, I had just cashed it in for 4,000 points straight up.
Doh.
I tried to get it changed, but given my hotel-switching prowess, I had already racked up the necessary 5 stays and had already been credited with the bonus points. Even if I hadn't, the promotion specifically didn't allow any changes after a selection (because you would obviously change it to a coupon if you realized you could use it and it would be financially beneficial)
Sigh. Looks like I'll have to keep throwing the Starwood Amex around. My kingdom for another 48k SPG points.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Budget Truck Customer Service Sucks, and is also OK...
So the biggest news of the month is that I've officially moved. I have left Manhattan and moved back halfway across the country to a new apartment in Chicago.
No, I didn't renounce my consulting career to run back to Chicago and become a deep dish pizza artisan. Transferring offices at the firm was actually surprisingly easy, it only took about a five minute conversation with a partner. One of the perks when you're working in a transient environment, no one really cares where you are when you're not at work.
Anyway, I needed to move all the stuff from my apartment out to Chicago. Seemed simple enough. I went on Budget Truck rental, who had a location in Manhattan, and booked a one-way rental to Chicago for a Friday pickup at noon. I did this a few weeks before my move, got my confirmation, and was all set.
In the weeks leading up to the move, I started to line up all the other logistical details. I began packing boxes, I arranged for the elevator with my super, I cleared the move day as vacation with my project team, I even got my brother to come up from Philadelphia to help me load the thing.
Everything was all set, just needed to take the subway up to Midtown and pick it up.
I found the lot easily enough, it was the one with a couple trucks sitting around.
My brother and I went inside the office and up to the counter. There was a woman in front of us renting a truck.
I waited patiently while the woman finished up her forms, went outside with the agent and got in a large truck, driving off.
As she departed, the agent came back in the office and I gave him my credit card and license.
He took my stuff and worked at his desk. He worked for a while. Too long, it seemed.
Finally, he came to a realization.
"Oh, I was supposed to hold the 15 foot truck for you"
I wasn't sure exactly what he meant, but I suspected the worst. The clerk then confirmed the worst.
"That woman had reserved a van, and we gave her the truck being held for your reservation"
I quickly thought of Seinfeld, and that I was in a bizarre cosmic rerun of that scene.
I tried to remain calm, explaining that they needed to find me another truck.
We don't have any other trucks
What about those in the lot???
Those are all broken down
What about two smaller trucks???
That was our last one
This round of dialogue went on for a while, me asking how I could get a truck, the clerk explaining why I couldn't.
Needless to say, it was seriously screwing up my plan.
My brother and I quickly put backup plans into action. He called UHaul, I called Penske. Our prospects seemed dim, as it was a hugely popular period for moving.
The Penske woman even laughed when I asked her for an immediate reservation. However, we were in luck, as one office had just gotten a 15 foot truck back and had it available.
Of course, it was in Brooklyn.
So I ended up having to take a couple trains over to Brooklyn and pick up the truck. Not only was it more expensive, but it set us back a couple hours that ensured we left Manhattan for our drive right in the teeth of Friday afternoon rush hour.
Needless to say, when I got to Chicago, I wanted to make sure Budget knew what had happened.
So I looked up their customer service email address (as well as their CEOs), and wrote them a polite but firm email.
They responded, but they responded twice and in wildly different fashion.
The next day, I had a voicemail from the General Manager for the New York area. I connected with him the next day, and he was very apologetic. He agreed that it was completely unacceptable, and that if I would send them a copy of my Penske receipt, they would reimburse me for the difference between it and my Budget reservation. I thought that was fair.
I haven't gotten a check yet, but I'm assuming I will. Anyway, I thought the case was closed at that point. But then I got an email. Two emails actually. Both from the 'Budget Truck Customer Service Executive Response Team.'
Sounded serious, like a crack SWAT team of Indian call center workers. Maybe it's a team of experts, each with a different specialty like an action movie. There's a pilot, a strongman, maybe a smooth talker. That actually is most of the A-Team, but you get the idea.
Then I read their email. Wow.
Budget Truck takes seriously it’s commitment to have the rental truck our customers reserved available for them at the time and locations it’s reserved at. Unfortunately, there are instances when there may be an unexpected vehicle maintenance issue or the previous customer’s plans change causing them to keep the truck longer or drop off at a different location. This is the reason we do not guarantee a specific size, time, or location as specified on our terms & conditions which are accessible on our webpage.
As you stated, the end of the month is a very busy time for moving and trucks are in short supply.
We will also send you via email and apology letter with coupons you can use with a Budget Truck or Budget Car.
We do apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.
Sincerely
EC
Budget Truck
Executive Desk
I'm still blown away by the content of that message. They may as well have told me to go screw myself. Allow me to summarize...
1. Sucks to be you
2. We never promised you a truck at a time and place, we promised you some kind of vehicle at some point in the future, potentially
3. Here are coupons, because we know you're anxious to use us again.
I'm not even going to talk about the grammar errors in the email. Of course, the next email was also there to distract me from playing language police.
The next email had the subject line
BTR (APOL) Standard CS Apology Letter.xls
The content, was an excel file, that had a little text. The most salient part was the section where they asked me to accept their apologies for any inconvenience I may have experienced due to inventory delay.
Is inventory delay the technical term for 'Your idiot clerk gave my truck away to someone else' ?
Anyway, they also gave me a couple coupons in the attachment.
- 15% off my next Budget Truck rental
- Up to 25% off a Budget car rental
Note: Coupons expire 12 months from the date of the letter
So in the event that I need to move again in a year, and want to take a Budget truck again, I'll get 15% off, which falls somewhere between a AAA discount and a mark down the clerk will give you if you show some cleavage.
In short, the Budget manager seemed like a reasonable guy, but their 'Executive Response Team' is borderline absurd.
Rest assured, I won't be using Budget Truck again. Get bent Budget Truck.
No, I didn't renounce my consulting career to run back to Chicago and become a deep dish pizza artisan. Transferring offices at the firm was actually surprisingly easy, it only took about a five minute conversation with a partner. One of the perks when you're working in a transient environment, no one really cares where you are when you're not at work.
Anyway, I needed to move all the stuff from my apartment out to Chicago. Seemed simple enough. I went on Budget Truck rental, who had a location in Manhattan, and booked a one-way rental to Chicago for a Friday pickup at noon. I did this a few weeks before my move, got my confirmation, and was all set.
In the weeks leading up to the move, I started to line up all the other logistical details. I began packing boxes, I arranged for the elevator with my super, I cleared the move day as vacation with my project team, I even got my brother to come up from Philadelphia to help me load the thing.
Everything was all set, just needed to take the subway up to Midtown and pick it up.
I found the lot easily enough, it was the one with a couple trucks sitting around.
My brother and I went inside the office and up to the counter. There was a woman in front of us renting a truck.
I waited patiently while the woman finished up her forms, went outside with the agent and got in a large truck, driving off.
As she departed, the agent came back in the office and I gave him my credit card and license.
He took my stuff and worked at his desk. He worked for a while. Too long, it seemed.
Finally, he came to a realization.
"Oh, I was supposed to hold the 15 foot truck for you"
I wasn't sure exactly what he meant, but I suspected the worst. The clerk then confirmed the worst.
"That woman had reserved a van, and we gave her the truck being held for your reservation"
I quickly thought of Seinfeld, and that I was in a bizarre cosmic rerun of that scene.
I tried to remain calm, explaining that they needed to find me another truck.
We don't have any other trucks
What about those in the lot???
Those are all broken down
What about two smaller trucks???
That was our last one
This round of dialogue went on for a while, me asking how I could get a truck, the clerk explaining why I couldn't.
Needless to say, it was seriously screwing up my plan.
My brother and I quickly put backup plans into action. He called UHaul, I called Penske. Our prospects seemed dim, as it was a hugely popular period for moving.
The Penske woman even laughed when I asked her for an immediate reservation. However, we were in luck, as one office had just gotten a 15 foot truck back and had it available.
Of course, it was in Brooklyn.
So I ended up having to take a couple trains over to Brooklyn and pick up the truck. Not only was it more expensive, but it set us back a couple hours that ensured we left Manhattan for our drive right in the teeth of Friday afternoon rush hour.
Needless to say, when I got to Chicago, I wanted to make sure Budget knew what had happened.
So I looked up their customer service email address (as well as their CEOs), and wrote them a polite but firm email.
They responded, but they responded twice and in wildly different fashion.
The next day, I had a voicemail from the General Manager for the New York area. I connected with him the next day, and he was very apologetic. He agreed that it was completely unacceptable, and that if I would send them a copy of my Penske receipt, they would reimburse me for the difference between it and my Budget reservation. I thought that was fair.
I haven't gotten a check yet, but I'm assuming I will. Anyway, I thought the case was closed at that point. But then I got an email. Two emails actually. Both from the 'Budget Truck Customer Service Executive Response Team.'
Sounded serious, like a crack SWAT team of Indian call center workers. Maybe it's a team of experts, each with a different specialty like an action movie. There's a pilot, a strongman, maybe a smooth talker. That actually is most of the A-Team, but you get the idea.
Then I read their email. Wow.
Budget Truck takes seriously it’s commitment to have the rental truck our customers reserved available for them at the time and locations it’s reserved at. Unfortunately, there are instances when there may be an unexpected vehicle maintenance issue or the previous customer’s plans change causing them to keep the truck longer or drop off at a different location. This is the reason we do not guarantee a specific size, time, or location as specified on our terms & conditions which are accessible on our webpage.
As you stated, the end of the month is a very busy time for moving and trucks are in short supply.
We will also send you via email and apology letter with coupons you can use with a Budget Truck or Budget Car.
We do apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.
Sincerely
EC
Budget Truck
Executive Desk
I'm still blown away by the content of that message. They may as well have told me to go screw myself. Allow me to summarize...
1. Sucks to be you
2. We never promised you a truck at a time and place, we promised you some kind of vehicle at some point in the future, potentially
3. Here are coupons, because we know you're anxious to use us again.
I'm not even going to talk about the grammar errors in the email. Of course, the next email was also there to distract me from playing language police.
The next email had the subject line
BTR (APOL) Standard CS Apology Letter.xls
The content, was an excel file, that had a little text. The most salient part was the section where they asked me to accept their apologies for any inconvenience I may have experienced due to inventory delay.
Is inventory delay the technical term for 'Your idiot clerk gave my truck away to someone else' ?
Anyway, they also gave me a couple coupons in the attachment.
- 15% off my next Budget Truck rental
- Up to 25% off a Budget car rental
Note: Coupons expire 12 months from the date of the letter
So in the event that I need to move again in a year, and want to take a Budget truck again, I'll get 15% off, which falls somewhere between a AAA discount and a mark down the clerk will give you if you show some cleavage.
In short, the Budget manager seemed like a reasonable guy, but their 'Executive Response Team' is borderline absurd.
Rest assured, I won't be using Budget Truck again. Get bent Budget Truck.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Just a lonely caveman
It finally happened. A terrifying ordeal that left me numb with loss and near tears. A shell of myself. I should have known something would go wrong. I should have known the potential for casualties and collateral damage was high.
:::cue flashback:::
It was one of the more challenging travel days I had ever planned for myself. The end of a vacation abroad with nothing but a few hours until a new project.
An eight hour flight back from Amsterdam into Newark, NJ, then after a brief stopover to exchange laundry for fresh work clothes, a trip out to LGA for a flight to Chicago and the beginning of a new project.
It was supposed to be simple. No one was supposed to get hurt.
Sure there were signs things were going to go wrong. A few black clouds that, at the time, looked like nothing more than random circumstance.
Checking out of my Amsterdam hotel in the morning, the shuttle I booked took off without me while I waited for it in the lobby. Unfortunate.
A pre-flight lunch at the airport which included a giant splotch of ketchup on my shirt, the last clean one in the bag. Bad luck perhaps, or maybe just a case of a poorly handled sandwich
The flight from Amsterdam was on time, a good sign. Of course, eight hours spent in the middle seat with nothing on the in-flight movie but the romantic comedy, Valentine's Day, seemed like something designed for a sitcom laugh track.
But I was fine. I was making good time. A breeze through customs, a train, a different train, a subway, and a bus later I was back at my place with a freshly packed bag.
Plenty of time to get to LGA. Nothing to worry about. No reason to suspect the sword perilously dangling above my head, about to drop.
I hopped in a cab, and as the driver took off, he asked if I had cash for the fare.
As a work expense, I put them on my corporate card, for the ease of reimbursement. Plus, I just got back in the country and didn't have a ton of U.S. cash. I didn't think he would take my Euros, so I didn't bother asking.
Take another cab, the driver told me.
Frustrated, a clambered out of the cab, got my bag from the trunk and hailed another.
As I got in and the cab began it's journey, I noticed it.
A suspicious absence in my front pocket.
My wallet was there, as were my headphones...
but where...where was my iPhone?
I checked my pockets...I checked my backpack...the floor of the cab...the depths of a cab seat cushions...
Nothing...
My shirt collar was getting tighter...my pulse quickening.
It must have fallen out of my pocket when the cab with the faulty card reader booted me out.
I did my best to avoid a complete heart attack. My phone was password protected, but it had all my information. Not only that, it was my anchor to life! My news, my sports, my link to family and friends! When you spent you're life in airports, hotels, and conference rooms, your cell phone is more than a communications device, it's what keeps you alive!
And mine was riding away in some other cab with a busted credit card machine.
I tried to figure out a plan. We had already lost sight of the cab (although that would have given me the best excuse to yell, 'Follow that car!' Which I've always wanted to do)
I borrowed the cab driver's cell phone and dialed. No answer. I text'd a message to the phone with my address and the promise of a reward,a figuring it would pop up on the phone. No response. I called a second time, and a third.
Nothing. It was ringing, but those desperate calls went unanswered.
When I arrived at the airport, I knew I needed to keep up the search. If that phone wasn't found in the first 12-24 hours, I'd probably lose it forever. I'd lose it to the streets. If I didn't find it, who knows where it could end up! Alone and scared, maybe in the gutter, turning trick phone calls for a nickel a minute?!?
I booted up the laptop and sent out a distress signal to the family. If everyone called the number over the course of the night, someone would have to eventually notice it.
But when I landed in Chicago, no one had gotten a response.
I kept up the campaign late into the night and even early the next morning. But by the next morning, my calls were not met with rings, only a direct link to my voicemail.
My phone was off, and with it, likely any chance at recovery.
That was Sunday, and since then, I've been without a phone. Without remote email. Without my anchor.
Oh sure, I ordered a new one. But each new phone takes between 7-14 days to get processed.
And so I sit. Alone.
Some people would call that liberating. They'd say that freedom from the shackles of a modern cell phone would allow me to clear my head.
Those people are stupid.
I know that the access and processing of new information triggers the release of dopamine (or so I think I read). And sure, that's probably what's turned me into a complete info-zombie. Craving more and more data at all times. It's why I have a hard time watching a movie without a laptop, or taking the train without a podcast on my headphones.
Yes, I'm a complete information addict. And now, with no remote source of data, I'm just a stumbling junkie in withdrawal, wandering the streets looking for a data fix. I grew desperate, begging, even bargaining with strangers. I tried to trade my apartment for a list of the most blogged New York Times articles!
But there were no takers. So I'm still back in the stone age.
Just a lonely caveman in a crazy modern world.
:::cue flashback:::
It was one of the more challenging travel days I had ever planned for myself. The end of a vacation abroad with nothing but a few hours until a new project.
An eight hour flight back from Amsterdam into Newark, NJ, then after a brief stopover to exchange laundry for fresh work clothes, a trip out to LGA for a flight to Chicago and the beginning of a new project.
It was supposed to be simple. No one was supposed to get hurt.
Sure there were signs things were going to go wrong. A few black clouds that, at the time, looked like nothing more than random circumstance.
Checking out of my Amsterdam hotel in the morning, the shuttle I booked took off without me while I waited for it in the lobby. Unfortunate.
A pre-flight lunch at the airport which included a giant splotch of ketchup on my shirt, the last clean one in the bag. Bad luck perhaps, or maybe just a case of a poorly handled sandwich
The flight from Amsterdam was on time, a good sign. Of course, eight hours spent in the middle seat with nothing on the in-flight movie but the romantic comedy, Valentine's Day, seemed like something designed for a sitcom laugh track.
But I was fine. I was making good time. A breeze through customs, a train, a different train, a subway, and a bus later I was back at my place with a freshly packed bag.
Plenty of time to get to LGA. Nothing to worry about. No reason to suspect the sword perilously dangling above my head, about to drop.
I hopped in a cab, and as the driver took off, he asked if I had cash for the fare.
As a work expense, I put them on my corporate card, for the ease of reimbursement. Plus, I just got back in the country and didn't have a ton of U.S. cash. I didn't think he would take my Euros, so I didn't bother asking.
Take another cab, the driver told me.
Frustrated, a clambered out of the cab, got my bag from the trunk and hailed another.
As I got in and the cab began it's journey, I noticed it.
A suspicious absence in my front pocket.
My wallet was there, as were my headphones...
but where...where was my iPhone?
I checked my pockets...I checked my backpack...the floor of the cab...the depths of a cab seat cushions...
Nothing...
My shirt collar was getting tighter...my pulse quickening.
It must have fallen out of my pocket when the cab with the faulty card reader booted me out.
I did my best to avoid a complete heart attack. My phone was password protected, but it had all my information. Not only that, it was my anchor to life! My news, my sports, my link to family and friends! When you spent you're life in airports, hotels, and conference rooms, your cell phone is more than a communications device, it's what keeps you alive!
And mine was riding away in some other cab with a busted credit card machine.
I tried to figure out a plan. We had already lost sight of the cab (although that would have given me the best excuse to yell, 'Follow that car!' Which I've always wanted to do)
I borrowed the cab driver's cell phone and dialed. No answer. I text'd a message to the phone with my address and the promise of a reward,a figuring it would pop up on the phone. No response. I called a second time, and a third.
Nothing. It was ringing, but those desperate calls went unanswered.
When I arrived at the airport, I knew I needed to keep up the search. If that phone wasn't found in the first 12-24 hours, I'd probably lose it forever. I'd lose it to the streets. If I didn't find it, who knows where it could end up! Alone and scared, maybe in the gutter, turning trick phone calls for a nickel a minute?!?
I booted up the laptop and sent out a distress signal to the family. If everyone called the number over the course of the night, someone would have to eventually notice it.
But when I landed in Chicago, no one had gotten a response.
I kept up the campaign late into the night and even early the next morning. But by the next morning, my calls were not met with rings, only a direct link to my voicemail.
My phone was off, and with it, likely any chance at recovery.
That was Sunday, and since then, I've been without a phone. Without remote email. Without my anchor.
Oh sure, I ordered a new one. But each new phone takes between 7-14 days to get processed.
And so I sit. Alone.
Some people would call that liberating. They'd say that freedom from the shackles of a modern cell phone would allow me to clear my head.
Those people are stupid.
I know that the access and processing of new information triggers the release of dopamine (or so I think I read). And sure, that's probably what's turned me into a complete info-zombie. Craving more and more data at all times. It's why I have a hard time watching a movie without a laptop, or taking the train without a podcast on my headphones.
Yes, I'm a complete information addict. And now, with no remote source of data, I'm just a stumbling junkie in withdrawal, wandering the streets looking for a data fix. I grew desperate, begging, even bargaining with strangers. I tried to trade my apartment for a list of the most blogged New York Times articles!
But there were no takers. So I'm still back in the stone age.
Just a lonely caveman in a crazy modern world.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
A weird feeling
It's been a strange couple of weeks for me at the good old consulting firm.
One recent Friday, the week before our series of final meetins with our current client's project, I got a strange call. I was being rolled off the project, effective the following Monday.
It seemed a little odd to me. Not only because we still had the final presentations to do, but also because it didn't seem like it was very much notice. There was no chance I'd be picked up by another project, and thus, I would have my first ever time on 'the beach'
In consulting speak, 'the beach' is something of a fairy tale magical land, where you aren't officially working on a project. There's no crazy travel plans to make, no hotels, and no working until 4am (usually).
Of course, like any fairy tale magical land, it's also quite toxic if exposed for too long. And by toxic, I mean you get booted off if you are on 'the beach' for too long (which makes sense because you aren't earning the company any money).
So I wasn't going to be traveling, and I would be back in New York. By mid-afternoon on Monday, I was assigned to help out on my first proposal, a manufacturing-focused effort to a consumer products company.
I actually found it really interesting. I got to research a completely new industry, uncover industry trends, develop broad strategic hypotheses...all while sleeping in my own bed (I also snuck in a movie one night).
Of course, it couldn't last forever (and if I want to afford to eat, it shouldn't), and by this past Monday I was staffed up again. For the next two weeks I'm learning a lot about the steel industry, which will conveniently take me right up to the 4th of July, and my first long vacation since I started.
It's already started to feel weird to not have to be working all the time. I wonder if I'll go crazy when I'm on vacation and completely unplugged.
One recent Friday, the week before our series of final meetins with our current client's project, I got a strange call. I was being rolled off the project, effective the following Monday.
It seemed a little odd to me. Not only because we still had the final presentations to do, but also because it didn't seem like it was very much notice. There was no chance I'd be picked up by another project, and thus, I would have my first ever time on 'the beach'
In consulting speak, 'the beach' is something of a fairy tale magical land, where you aren't officially working on a project. There's no crazy travel plans to make, no hotels, and no working until 4am (usually).
Of course, like any fairy tale magical land, it's also quite toxic if exposed for too long. And by toxic, I mean you get booted off if you are on 'the beach' for too long (which makes sense because you aren't earning the company any money).
So I wasn't going to be traveling, and I would be back in New York. By mid-afternoon on Monday, I was assigned to help out on my first proposal, a manufacturing-focused effort to a consumer products company.
I actually found it really interesting. I got to research a completely new industry, uncover industry trends, develop broad strategic hypotheses...all while sleeping in my own bed (I also snuck in a movie one night).
Of course, it couldn't last forever (and if I want to afford to eat, it shouldn't), and by this past Monday I was staffed up again. For the next two weeks I'm learning a lot about the steel industry, which will conveniently take me right up to the 4th of July, and my first long vacation since I started.
It's already started to feel weird to not have to be working all the time. I wonder if I'll go crazy when I'm on vacation and completely unplugged.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
The Coming Sports Diaspora
Ugh. It has not been the best of days today.
I'm sitting at the airport, waiting for a flight that's been delayed for two hours, this after working until 3am last night.
Oh, and by the way, the Flyers lost in the Stanley Cup finals in a game that I had to listen to with one earphone while simultaneously working on a presentation.
At least I missed what turned out to be a big disappointment.
The Stanley Cup finals were notable, not just because it gave the Flyers their first chance to win the cup in over 30 years (which they blew because they're goalie is very below average, but that's an aside), but because it pitted the Flyers, from my native Philadelphia, against Chicago, my soon-to-be full time residence and the home of my fiancee.
It definitely made for an interesting dynamic, one that I'd just as soon avoid in future championship games (unless the Philadelphia team is going to win).
But it raises an interesting question. Let's fast forward some medium to large number of years, and let's assume we have at least one kid and live in the Chicagoland area.
What team does our kid root for??? And this doesn't apply just to hockey. Football. Baseball. College sports. Who will be their favorite player growing up? What's the first jersey they'll wear? And who are they going to side with when Australia plays Pakistan in cricket???
OK, so cricket will be a non-issue. But the sports rooting interest is a very real issue.
Of course, for our generation, this wasn't that much of a decision. Thanks to more primitive technology, it was much harder for someone like my dad (a Massachusetts native) to follow his Boston teams upon moving to Philadelphia. It became even harder to indoctrinate his kids into similar likings. As such, not only did my dad become a Philadelphia fan, but one of his kids (hint: me) grew up into an all-time great Patriots hater.
But now, the tables have turned. Now you can get just about any sports game in the comfort of your own home. Expanded national sports coverage, premium sports packages, streaming sports radio on the internet, and internet versions of local-area papers make it extremely easy to follow your teams wherever you live.
So following your own team after you move becomes pretty darn easy. Which means brainwashing your kids into liking your teams should be pretty darn easy too (note: this may be the first time I ever make a ridiculous assumption about what I'll be able to force my kids to do. I'm sure it won't be the last)
Now there's a risk involved, and it's the risk of raising a kid who becomes a social pariah for liking the wrong team at school. To that point, I'd simply shrug my shoulders and say, 'If my kid is anything like me he'll be overweight, so they'll have bigger things to worry about anyway'
Of course there's one other issue. That whole thing about my fiancee being a Chicago sports fan. Apparently her opinion counts too, or so I read in the 'Unfortunately, your fiancee will start being right all the time' pamphlet they hand out when you buy engagement rings.
But she's a reasonable person (or at least doing a great job of faking it so far). So let's go down the list and figure out what teams will win out.
Hockey: Flyers vs. Blackhawks
Now, this one is still a little raw since it's been less than 24 hours since the Flyers' goalie threw a big pile of garbage on his reputation.
However, this one is non-negotiable. I've been going to Flyers games since I was born. I've got jerseys, I've t-shirts, I've caught pucks at games.
Even after watching the finals, I'm still not sure my fiancee knows what Icing is.
Winner - Flyers
College Basketball: Illinois Illini vs. Penn State Nittany Lions
Another slam dunk, pardoning the basketball reference. College basketball is a big deal to the Illinois crowd, they have chants and everything. They also wear orange, which appeals to me as a Flyers fan.
Penn State does technically have a basketball team. I may have played for it while I went there, I'm still not sure.
Winner - Illinois
Professional Football: Bears vs. Eagles
Another major rooting interest for me. Over the past few years the Eagles standing in my mental hierarchy of sports teams has improved, mostly due to the fact that football is by far the easiest sport to follow consistently. It's one game a week, rather than hockey's 3 or baseball's 7. So much easier to watch every game.
And given that it's a naturally violent sport that's confusing for novices, I'm hoping my fiancee doesn't care at all. She likes to do other things on Sunday besides watch sports on TV, which also gives me control of what football we display in the house.
And if you thought I wasn't going to raise my little kid to yell out E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES! and hurl batteries at opposing players, you were kidding yourself.
Winner - Eagles
At this point, it's becoming clear to me that when I care even a little about the sport, I'm going to push my team. And when I don't care about the sport at all, I'll let my kid root for anyone.
So with that, let's quickly ensure some Chicago balance huh?
Professional Soccer: Fire vs. Union
There's a Philadelphia soccer team? And it's called the Union??? No thank you.
Winner - Fire
Professional Basketball: 76ers vs. Bulls
This might be close if the 76ers still had Dr. J. But apparently that was like 25 years ago.
The Sixers have been terrible most of my life, and I also don't really like professional basketball as a sport.
The Bulls might get LeBron James. So hell, even I might start rooting for them anyway
Winner - Bulls
I wish I could stack this deck a little more, but I don't know if either city has a WNBA team, and I think Arena football may be defunct? World Team Tennis???
Meh. It's about even right? Moving on.
College Football: Illinois Illini vs. Penn State Nittany Lions
Another college matchup, but this time the roles are reversed as my alma mater believes in football. I'm not sure Illinois cares, although they do win points for having a native american mascot. I like mascots that can potentially be offensive.
Penn State is also one of the winningest football teams in all of college. They have Joe Paterno, and they've got tons of cute kids merchandise. You can dress your kid up as a lion, you definitely can't dress him up as an Indian (well, you could, but I think it's weirder)
Winner - Penn State
Baseball: Phillies vs.Cubs White Sox
The last big enchilada actually gets pretty easy. It would be one thing if my fiancee was a Cubs fan (and by Cubs fan, I don't mean one of those fake Chicago Cubs fans that defines 'fan' as hanging out and getting drunk in Wrigleyville). National league opponents would make for a potential rooting conflict. But given that she's an American league girl and I'm a National league guy, there should be room to co-exist.
Our kid should be able to root for both teams with little risk of disaster. But just in case a White Sox - Phillies world series is in the cards. I'm going to indoctrinate for the Phils anyway
I'm sitting at the airport, waiting for a flight that's been delayed for two hours, this after working until 3am last night.
Oh, and by the way, the Flyers lost in the Stanley Cup finals in a game that I had to listen to with one earphone while simultaneously working on a presentation.
At least I missed what turned out to be a big disappointment.
The Stanley Cup finals were notable, not just because it gave the Flyers their first chance to win the cup in over 30 years (which they blew because they're goalie is very below average, but that's an aside), but because it pitted the Flyers, from my native Philadelphia, against Chicago, my soon-to-be full time residence and the home of my fiancee.
It definitely made for an interesting dynamic, one that I'd just as soon avoid in future championship games (unless the Philadelphia team is going to win).
But it raises an interesting question. Let's fast forward some medium to large number of years, and let's assume we have at least one kid and live in the Chicagoland area.
What team does our kid root for??? And this doesn't apply just to hockey. Football. Baseball. College sports. Who will be their favorite player growing up? What's the first jersey they'll wear? And who are they going to side with when Australia plays Pakistan in cricket???
OK, so cricket will be a non-issue. But the sports rooting interest is a very real issue.
Of course, for our generation, this wasn't that much of a decision. Thanks to more primitive technology, it was much harder for someone like my dad (a Massachusetts native) to follow his Boston teams upon moving to Philadelphia. It became even harder to indoctrinate his kids into similar likings. As such, not only did my dad become a Philadelphia fan, but one of his kids (hint: me) grew up into an all-time great Patriots hater.
But now, the tables have turned. Now you can get just about any sports game in the comfort of your own home. Expanded national sports coverage, premium sports packages, streaming sports radio on the internet, and internet versions of local-area papers make it extremely easy to follow your teams wherever you live.
So following your own team after you move becomes pretty darn easy. Which means brainwashing your kids into liking your teams should be pretty darn easy too (note: this may be the first time I ever make a ridiculous assumption about what I'll be able to force my kids to do. I'm sure it won't be the last)
Now there's a risk involved, and it's the risk of raising a kid who becomes a social pariah for liking the wrong team at school. To that point, I'd simply shrug my shoulders and say, 'If my kid is anything like me he'll be overweight, so they'll have bigger things to worry about anyway'
Of course there's one other issue. That whole thing about my fiancee being a Chicago sports fan. Apparently her opinion counts too, or so I read in the 'Unfortunately, your fiancee will start being right all the time' pamphlet they hand out when you buy engagement rings.
But she's a reasonable person (or at least doing a great job of faking it so far). So let's go down the list and figure out what teams will win out.
Hockey: Flyers vs. Blackhawks
Now, this one is still a little raw since it's been less than 24 hours since the Flyers' goalie threw a big pile of garbage on his reputation.
However, this one is non-negotiable. I've been going to Flyers games since I was born. I've got jerseys, I've t-shirts, I've caught pucks at games.
Even after watching the finals, I'm still not sure my fiancee knows what Icing is.
Winner - Flyers
College Basketball: Illinois Illini vs. Penn State Nittany Lions
Another slam dunk, pardoning the basketball reference. College basketball is a big deal to the Illinois crowd, they have chants and everything. They also wear orange, which appeals to me as a Flyers fan.
Penn State does technically have a basketball team. I may have played for it while I went there, I'm still not sure.
Winner - Illinois
Professional Football: Bears vs. Eagles
Another major rooting interest for me. Over the past few years the Eagles standing in my mental hierarchy of sports teams has improved, mostly due to the fact that football is by far the easiest sport to follow consistently. It's one game a week, rather than hockey's 3 or baseball's 7. So much easier to watch every game.
And given that it's a naturally violent sport that's confusing for novices, I'm hoping my fiancee doesn't care at all. She likes to do other things on Sunday besides watch sports on TV, which also gives me control of what football we display in the house.
And if you thought I wasn't going to raise my little kid to yell out E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES! and hurl batteries at opposing players, you were kidding yourself.
Winner - Eagles
At this point, it's becoming clear to me that when I care even a little about the sport, I'm going to push my team. And when I don't care about the sport at all, I'll let my kid root for anyone.
So with that, let's quickly ensure some Chicago balance huh?
Professional Soccer: Fire vs. Union
There's a Philadelphia soccer team? And it's called the Union??? No thank you.
Winner - Fire
Professional Basketball: 76ers vs. Bulls
This might be close if the 76ers still had Dr. J. But apparently that was like 25 years ago.
The Sixers have been terrible most of my life, and I also don't really like professional basketball as a sport.
The Bulls might get LeBron James. So hell, even I might start rooting for them anyway
Winner - Bulls
I wish I could stack this deck a little more, but I don't know if either city has a WNBA team, and I think Arena football may be defunct? World Team Tennis???
Meh. It's about even right? Moving on.
College Football: Illinois Illini vs. Penn State Nittany Lions
Another college matchup, but this time the roles are reversed as my alma mater believes in football. I'm not sure Illinois cares, although they do win points for having a native american mascot. I like mascots that can potentially be offensive.
Penn State is also one of the winningest football teams in all of college. They have Joe Paterno, and they've got tons of cute kids merchandise. You can dress your kid up as a lion, you definitely can't dress him up as an Indian (well, you could, but I think it's weirder)
Winner - Penn State
Baseball: Phillies vs.
The last big enchilada actually gets pretty easy. It would be one thing if my fiancee was a Cubs fan (and by Cubs fan, I don't mean one of those fake Chicago Cubs fans that defines 'fan' as hanging out and getting drunk in Wrigleyville). National league opponents would make for a potential rooting conflict. But given that she's an American league girl and I'm a National league guy, there should be room to co-exist.
Our kid should be able to root for both teams with little risk of disaster. But just in case a White Sox - Phillies world series is in the cards. I'm going to indoctrinate for the Phils anyway
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